


Inevitable

by gokkyun



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Anal Sex, Canon Disabled Character, M/M, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-08 22:46:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4323723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gokkyun/pseuds/gokkyun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Desire and self-pity, accompanied by annoyance, is what gets Kaz through the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inevitable

**Author's Note:**

> I've had tons of thoughts regarding Kaz going through my head lately, so here you go: Kaz annoyed by himself and his crutch just before everything turns PWP. 
> 
> Obviously set during The Phantom Pain. PWP means quite explicit sex as well as some swearing in between. Enjoy!

Gunshots. Screams. Orders. Big Boss' voice screaming orders to Quiet. 

Is it absurd for him to have missed all of this the most when he was held captive? The noises and the roughness of the battlefield? Does it even make sense that his desire for the battlefield is still burning so bright, now that he isn't even able to walk properly? These thoughts are constantly in Kaz's minds and he curses himself for it, but how could he not think about it as he monitors Snake's steps closely over the radar while talking to him through the radio. All he does while Snake is away is talk to him while sitting down, filling out reports with his remaining left arm; and he feels like it's the only thing he's still good for. And not even that, as his hand writing look like he's drunk. A sigh slips past his mouth, frustration about his body's and mind's state going through him once again. He doesn't want to drown in self-pity but how can he not. "Are you okay?", a familiar voice suddenly rings in Kaz's ears. "Why the sigh?".

A grimace slips onto Kaz's face, even more annoyance going through him as Snake heard the younger man's sigh through the radio. "Nothin'. Are you and", - he holds in, carefully placing disgust in his voice - "- her out of the hot zone now?", he asks.

"Yeah, we're on our way back. Finally. Talk to you then. Out.".

"Out.", Kaz confirms, holding back another sigh until he cuts the radio off, taking the oversized headphones off and putting them on the desk in front of him. He digs his teeth into his lower lip as he looks to his left side, giving his cane an annoyed glance as he takes it, pushing himself up on it. 

Kaz hates walking. The feeling of his lost leg shoots through him whenever he has to do it, the inability to walk on his own or to even just walk fast makes him feel weak - or maybe just angry. He has to use a crutch to hold his diminished weight up, has to rely on something he has never imagined he would have to rely on. He feels like snapping the damn thing in half sometimes. But how would he even do that? 

The guards in front of the communication room salute him as he leaves - he feels like commenting on it, he feels like acknowledging the respect they pay to him but he doesn't. The reason for this is may or may not be that some of them are looking at him in pity when his back is turned to them. They look at Kaz's limbs and feel like they need to feel bad for him, feel pity for him and pay him respect for what he's been through, for what he's lost. But it's not what Kazuhira Miller wants. He doesn't want and more importantly doesn't need anyone's false pity or feigned respect. Specifically not his own, face turning into a grimace as he - once again - curses his self-loathing thoughts.

It takes him some time to make it down the stairs of the main building, it always does, but it's worth it as he steps outside after what felt like an eternity. The harsh air immediately surrounds him, just like the smell of the ocean that immediately enlightens his mood, even if just slightly. His eyes close behind his aviators to take in the soothing feeling. 

Feeling this takes him back to MSF, back to when he trained and sparred on the beach or on Mother Base's deck with the soldiers or maybe even with Snake. He misses the way all of his legs and arms worked together, misses how the superior ways of his techniques dropped his sparring partners to the ground or how he got dropped the ground at times. And now? Take away his crutch and Kaz would probably drop to the ground. Pathetic. 

A few minutes pass before Kaz opens his eyes again and his limping steps continue. His eyes travel around him, watching the soldiers around him working and walking in a quickened pace, some women in between the majority of men. A few years ago Kaz would've gladly made a detour just to try and steal a date or maybe even a kiss from one of the prettier women but he bets his aviators that they wouldn't even bother looking at him now, hair messily sticking out of his beret, the edges of his face covered in soft, blonde stubble. 

He rolls his eyes at himself, stopping his heavy steps after just a few minutes as he reaches the main platform's heli-pad. And now he just waits there, waits for Snake's return from the battlefield, the battlefield he aches for so much even though it made him into what he is now. 

And it's the reason why it's so hard to see Snake, the man Kaz has spent so many of his life's years with, leave for a mission. He could return just as deformed as Kaz - or could not return at all. And as pathetic as it makes Kaz feel, it hasn't become easier through all these years at MSF, through all these years they were apart. From the first time he has felt that ache, that panic in his stomach to the time he felt it three days ago when Snake left for his current mission, the feeling has only gotten worse and heavier. 

He has never told Snake. And he wishes he could banish this foul feeling, deny it to himself, deny it to his body and most of all deny it to his mind but he can't. And if this keeps going he will never be able to.

Big Boss is inevitable to Kaz. 

The loud and far too familiar noise of a chopper pushes Kaz out of his thoughts, like so many things seem to do today. But he doesn't mind, he doesn't mind at all as he sees Snake sitting on the side of the chopper, impatient but also tired. 

The older man jumps out of the chopper as it hovers a meter or two over the ground, forcing the faintest of smiles onto Kaz's lips. "Welcome back.", he says as the guards around them salute to their commander, who walks straight towards Kaz. Snake shows him a tape and a bunch of files to which Kaz just nods approvingly, trying to hide the fact that these documents are the thing he cares about the least when he probably should.

"Hey you.", Snake shouts to one of the soldiers next to him, who immediately steps closer. "Bring these to Miller's office.", he continues, handing the soldier the documents before who heads off immediately. 

Kaz glances at Snake. "I could've taken them with me myself.", he complains, resisting the urge to smack Snake with his crutch in front of everyone. 

Snake rolls his eye, a hand motion gesturing Kaz that they should move as they talk, which they do, heading back to the main building, annoyance spreading through Kaz as he has to drag himself all the way back, this time with Snake at his side who adjusts his pace. "Keep me company?", Snake grunts as most of the soldiers disappear behind them. "Have to shower. Crawled through dirt. Maybe even shit.". 

"Explains the smell.", Kaz replies, taking a mocking step away from Snake. "I can't. I have to go through the documents ASAP. As much as I don't care, our client does. You should come see me when you're done, though.". 

"Fine.".

 

 

 

 

Although he misses the noises and the volume of the battlefield, Kaz can't deny that he enjoys the silence of his office quite a bit. He enjoys the view, too, just like he does right now, standing next to one of the larger windows and letting his tired eyes gaze upon the Mother Base. It's what he does when his mind is too distracted to do proper work, it's what he does when he feels the twitching of his limbs, his limbs that aren't on him anymore. It makes him feel ill. 

"Are you okay?", a voice suddenly asks from behind Kaz. He turns around, slightly flustered as Snake suddenly walks through the middle of his office, sitting down on Kaz's black, huge leather chair. "You seem rather distracted today.". 

Taking a deep breath, Kaz leans his weight on his crutch, walking over to where Snake is sitting. He looks down onto Snake, eyes hardly visible through the aviators. "It's nothing.".

Snake shakes his head. "It is.", he says to emphasize his motion, which forces a frown onto Kaz's face. He hates the way Snake looks at him, looks through him, the other man's expression strong and self-confident, knowing that he's right and that whatever goes through Kaz bothers him enough to be unfocused. Which rarely happens. There's a reason he's second in command after all. 

"How about you stop bothering me", Kaz grunts as he hits Snake's leg with his crutch, not particularly hard but hard enough to make the other man flinch. "and get the hell out of my chair.". 

As Kaz moves to repeat the motion, Snake snatches the crutch from under Kaz's hand and arm, carelessly letting it drop to the floor as a loud noise echoes through the room. It forces Kaz to stumble forward, body and motions uncontrolled, before Snake takes his chance and pulls him onto his crotch. Kaz's eyes are wide in surprise behind his aviators as he leans his single arm against Snake's chest in an awkward way, trying to support the weight of his upper body. His knee rests on the chair, right next to Snake's leg while his prosthetic leg does the same next to Snake's other leg, although the angle seems rather awkward as Kaz has no knee to lean onto. He's quite happy about Snake's hands that try to hold him in place.

However, Kaz's surprise starts to turn into annoyance, his hand forming a fist which he punches against the black fabric of Snake's shirt. "Don't fucking ever - ever - do that again.". 

"Then don't try to act all though.", Snake's voice is low, blue eye staring directly into Kaz's eyes, as if seeing right through the aviators covering them and it intimidates Kaz, even if just a little. "At least not around me.", one of Snake's hands leave Kaz's hips, traveling to his right shoulder, tracing over it until he reaches the stub of Kaz's arm. "It hurts, doesn't it?", Snake looks up to the other man, his expression somewhat pained as he nods. "So does mine.".

Kaz's eyes look away now, avoiding Snake. "It's not the only thing that hurts.".

And then Snake's hands, his prosthetic as well as his real one, are on each side of Kaz's face, forcing their eyes to meet again - and something tells him that Snake wants to speak up but he doesn't. He doesn't know why but the tension causes Kaz to move his head forward, his lips slightly spread as he presses them against Snake's lips. He doesn't know why it sends shivers already, doesn't know why he already feels all hot and needy. Their lips move against each other, familiar and yet intense, Snake's calloused fingers are rough on his face as they trail along it, the fingers of his prosthetic hand even rougher and almost uncomfortably cold. 

Kaz's teeth dig into Snake's lower lip now, softly nagging on it before roughly pulling it into his mouth, sucking on it. The grunt that leaves Snake makes Kaz smile as he releases the other man's lip, satisfied with the result and even more satisfied as the other man forcefully pushes his wet tongue into his mouth. 

The first sigh now slips out of Kaz's mouth, Snake's tongue pushing his tongue back so the older man can roam through Kaz's mouth freely. Kaz's fist clutches the fabric of Snake's shirt as he shuffles his ass forward, pressing his crotch against Snake's crotch, his chest against Snake's chest, both of them breathing and sighing into the kiss. 

It's hard for Kaz to hold balance as his hand lets go off Snake's shirt, his left hand slipping his trenchcoat off his right shoulder, doing the same with his left shoulder, awkwardly shuffling in place as he does so. Snake's hands however leave Kaz's face and are on his green vest just a mere second later, swiftly unbuttoning it and pulling it off Kaz. "Thanks", the younger man breathes out as he pulls his head back, parting the kiss. 

"With pleasure.", Snake huffs back as his hands make swift work of Kaz's red tie as well, dropping it to the floor, followed by Kaz's beret. In the meantime, Kaz's single hand slowly but steadily pushes Snake's shirt up - annoyed by the help but at the same time pleased when Snake takes over to pull the black piece of clothing over his own head. 

The fluid movements of their undressing are suddenly interrupted as Kaz twitches away from Snake's hands that close in on his face again, knowing that they are aiming for his aviators. "You know I don't want you to ... look at them.", he says, voice low as a frown crosses his face, his single hand reaching out to his aviators to hold onto them in a defensive manner. 

"I want to, though.", Snake says, voice hard and demanding, Kaz frustrated as his hand is easily pushed away by Snake's hand which gently remove the aviators. The feeling of light clashing against his eyes makes Kaz nauseous for a second, pressing his eyes shut. He feels the motion of Snake's hand reaching past him, putting the aviators on the wooden desk in front of them. "Open them.".

A pained, disapproving sigh leaves Kaz's mouth, annoyance soothed as he feels the skin of Snake's hand on his neck, roughly massaging over it. He swallows as he finally dares to open his eyes again, his lips slightly parted as his eyes and Snake's single eye meet. The first thing that crosses Kaz's mind is jealous, the jealousy about Snake's eye-color, an intense and strong blue that makes a shiver run down his spine. It's an uncomfortable feeling to think of his own eyes now, life and beauty taken from them. And yet there is a fascination and raw desire in Snake's gaze as his eye is completely focused on Kaz's eyes - and thanks to that gaze Kaz also knows that his cheekbones are covered in a heavy flush. "Stop staring.", Kaz whispers. 

But Snake doesn't stop staring into his eyes, not sure why the other man is so intoxicated by them. However, Kaz doesn't mind as he feels the other man's fingers work on his suit shirt, opening every single button of it but not taking it off. The younger man sighs when Snake's real hand is suddenly on his right leg, caressing over it, reaching his inner thighs before they are forcefully pressing against his half-hard dick, rubbing it through the fabric of his green pants. 

Kaz can't hold back the moans that now slip through his lips, placing his hand on Snake's shoulders. He wants to dig his fingers into the other man's skin but instead he trails his shaking fingers along the broad shoulders, over the older man's muscles until he reaches the cold metal of his prosthetic lower arm. It's a comfortable feeling to know that Snake's arm wasn't completely lost, that he could have a prosthetic limb, unlike Kaz, whose lost too much of his arm. And as true and genuine as these feelings are, as true is his jealousy. 

However, the jealousy and everything else but raw need fades as he feels Snake's hand against the skin of his warm dick, pants and underwear pulled down far enough to expose it. "Don't tease, just undress.", Kaz moans out, Snake's thumb pressing against the tip of the younger man's dick before the rest of his hand gently strokes it. It causes Kaz to moan louder, his fingernails digging into Snake's shoulder for real this time, light-colored eyes half-lidded just like his lips. 

He's more than happy, if uncomfortable, as he feels Snake's cold prosthetic hand against his skin, pulling Kaz's pants further down until they reach his ankles and the end of his leg prosthesis. Snake makes quick work of Kaz's single shoe before he pulls the right pant leg over Kaz's foot, the pants completely dropping to the ground as Snake swiftly does the same with the other pant leg, revealing Kaz's prosthesis completely. 

"Should I ... remove it?", Snake asks as his hand lets go off Kaz's dick, fingertips hovering over the small part that is now Kaz's left leg until he reaches the cold metal of the prosthetic. 

Kaz looks down onto it with a hint of disgust and annoyance on his face. "Yeah ... I ... don't think you can do me in this weird angle. And I can't really shift it either. I can't do shit.", Kaz sighs out, shivering in discomfort as Snake goes through the process of removing the stiff prosthetic that's supposed to be his leg, more than happy as it comes off. Snake also removes the bandages that are loosely wrapped around the stump of Kaz's leg. 

A sudden gasp fills the room as the chair spins around, Snake standing up while holding Kaz's light body, harshly pushing the younger man onto the big wooden desk. And as Kaz opens his mouth to speak up, to protest or maybe to approve, he isn't so sure of that himself, Snake's tongue is inside of his mouth again, their teeth bumping together in haste, both of them groaning in pleasure, Snake's hard, clothed dick pressing against Kaz's. 

However, it's not a long kiss, Snake pulling away a few moments later. Kaz watches as the older man opens the third drawer of Kaz's large desk, rummaging in it for a bit before looking at Kaz again, a confused expression all over his face. "Where ... - where is it?", he grunts out, voice hoarse. 

Kaz knows what Snake is talking about, yet he holds back, embarrassment spreading in his gut. "S-second drawer.". 

He now watches Snake do the same with the second drawer, throwing a single condom on the desk while his prosthetic hand holds onto an almost empty bottle. The smug grin on the man's lips annoys Kaz, annoyance growing even stronger as the other man speaks up. "Why is it in there and not where I left it?", Snake asks and Kaz wants to slap him, slap him again and again for asking a question he knows the answer to. So he refuses to answer, watching Snake in silent anger as his metallic hand squeezes a fair amount of the lube on his hand. "So?". 

Kaz swallows as a cold, wet finger roughly presses against his hole, an even colder metallic hand holding his single leg up, pushing it away from his body. He presses his arm against his mouth, quite happy that his white suit shirt is still onto him, pulling on the white fabric with his teeth. Thanks to these precautions the moan that leaves his mouth is muffled, wet finger pushing past the rim of his hole with force. Snake doesn't lose time to press against Kaz's hot walls, going deeper at the same time, slightly pulling his middle finger out before pushing it back inside with more force. 

And Kaz doesn't know why he does it, doesn't know why he does what he usually refuses to, removing his arm from his mouth and letting the loud sounds spill out of his mouth, his hand instead grabbing onto the blonde strands of his messy hair. "This is ... ahh - John", Kaz's words are interrupted as a second finger pushes inside of him, wet and rough and so fucking good. "- is so much better than doing it myself.", he continues, pressing the back of his head against the desk as he presses his hips forward at the same time. 

"So you did it yourself, yeah?", Snake asks, removing his fingers as he does so, causing a muffled whimper out of Kaz. 

Kaz now watches Snake unbuckle his belt with a single hand, quickly unzipping his army-pattern pants, breathing heavy as he drops them to his ankles, revealing the older man's dick; it forces Kaz to lick over his dry lips unconsciously. He looks up to Snake a few moments later. "You were gone for three days -", Kaz says then, sitting up with great effort, the fact that Snake is still holding onto his leg not making it any easier. His hand reaches forward, stroking over Snake's dick, causing the older man to moan, afterwards trailing over his defined stomach and chest and over the several scars, both of their histories and bodies defined by them - before he gently traces over Snake's stubble, over his rough face, swallowing as he reaches the horn that still terrifies Kaz in an unexplainable way. "I hear your voice all day. I hear you being on the battlefield. I miss it. I … - -".

Snake's lips press against Kaz's lips, interrupting him - and Kaz is quite happy about that interruption, quite happy that he doesn't need to finish a sentence he doesn't want to speak out because he hates these kind of words, hates these kind of words that show emotions, that show weakness, that show his affection, that show how inevitable he feels towards Snake, towards Big Boss, towards John. 

Kaz appreciates the roughness that follows, appreciates how Snake pulls his imperfect body closer to himself, dragging Kaz's naked ass over several papers and documents. Snake then let's go off Kaz's leg, letting it and his stump hang in the air in an awkward angle as he holds onto Kaz's hips instead. And Kaz can't do anything but lay the arm that he has left around Snake's neck as the older man pushes the tip of dick against his spread, wet hole and Kaz moans, cries directly into Snake's ear as he feels the other man's dick push inside of him. 

"Ah ... fuck - ah", is all that Kaz manages to breath out before a low cry pushes itself past his spread lips, Snake slowly pushing his hole apart with the kind of rough force that makes Kaz's hips push forward into Snake's strong hands, needy. And it's bad, it's so incredibly bad and pathetic and yet wonderful that he knows when Snake's dick is buried whole inside of him, that he knows the exact feeling of it, having pushed past the tightness of his hole and his insides.

But what's even more pathetic is how much Kaz loves exactly this feeling, how much he loves the way that he feels so full, how much he loves the way Snake's thrusts become harsher and rougher with every thrust, how much he loves the way Snake's fingers dig into his skin, how much he loves the way they leave small bruises all over him. Kaz closes his eyes to take all of it in, not only these feelings but also the smell, the smell of them fucking, uncontrolled and rough, fast this time around and perfect every time anyways. 

And then it's there, the expression on Snake's face that lets Kaz's dick jump in sheer excitement, a low, heavy feeling in his stomach driving him crazy already. The older man in front of Kaz has his eyebrows pressed together, his deep-blue eye wandering from Kaz's upper body to the younger man's face, sighs and raw moans leaving Snake's slightly spread lips, throwing his head into his neck as he picks up his pace, forceful and fast and more satisfying to both of them in anything else.

All of this is because of Snake's thick dick not only filling Kaz in the most wonderful way possible but also how it pushes against Kaz's prostate with full force. It causes that feeling that lets Kaz question how he could ever want something else, how could ever want anyone else, a loud moan filling the room as his fingernails dig into Snake's back. 

Kaz lets his forehead rest against Snake's strong, sweaty shoulder to hold some kind of balance as he removes his hand from said shoulders, placing it on his twitching dick as he greedily starts moving it up and down, grip tight around himself. It's hard to keep up with Snake's fast pace, especially as the tightness in Kaz's stomach becomes heavier, almost unbearable. "Boss-", Kaz moans out, followed by several heavy breaths that turn into a whimper as his whole body violently jerks forward. "J-John- -", his breathing hitches, his inside and outside unsteady as he comes into his hand, hot and messy stickiness accompanied by a long moan that erupts from the back of his throat. 

His head is still resting against Snake's shoulder as he feels the slight shivers that shoot through the older man's body and Kaz just loves to hear the hoarse moan from the legendary soldier as his hole tightens around the older man's dick in a familiar and most perfect way. But what makes the younger man's stomach twist isn't all of this, it's the way Snake moans Kaz's name, moans "Kaz, moans "Kazuhira", over and over again as the he comes, comes into him, warm and sticky and messy just like Kaz's own release. 

Both of them catching their breath, Snake lets go off Kaz, pulling out of him, some of his white fluid dripping out of the other man's hole and onto some of the papers that were under them the whole time. Kaz looks at Snake in disgust and annoyance, who just shrugs.

"Condoms are no fun, you should know.".


End file.
